Choose Love

I normally write about the economy, or politics and things of the like.  This post is not about any of that.

Today a very dear and close friend of ours lost her sister in a senseless act of domestic violence.  Her sister, a young mother was shot and killed by her boyfriend in a park filled with children.  Sadly, she was pregnant with their second child.  Her three year old daughter, standing nearby, was orphaned as the carnage unfolded.  Her father shot himself after realizing he shot her mom.  As I read the headlines tonight, I found the loss we had close to home was not the only one today.  Another mother, from Raleigh, NC was discovered dismembered by her ex and his wife.  From this horror, two more children are without parents.  The reality that there are most likely several more similar losses today hollows out my heart.

Tonight I felt convicted by a simple scripture that is read at so many weddings, and so quickly brushed over.  1 Corinthians 13:2, “…if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”  We live in a very complex world that is filled with sharp, jagged, conflicting viewpoints and opinions.  It struck me that love gets overlooked too often, and the result is tragic loss like what we saw today.

Love is a choice; a decision we must make every day.  It is not a feeling – it is a choice.  Love is not sex, or romance, or anything that we see portrayed in dramas on television.  We must decide to love our children, spouses, parents, friends, and even those we do not know.  Love requires action and intent.  Without love, without being able to make the decision to love someone…we are nothing.

Men, we are charged to love our wives as Christ loved the church.  Ladies, you are charged with the same – I don’t see any difference in our responsibilities toward one another.  Christ loved us all with a love that is incomparable.  Men, for all our might, intellect, ability, and ego – if we can’t love our wives, then we are nothing. 

Physical pleasure is not love.  Attention is not love.  Attraction is not love.  Affection is not love.  Abuse is not love.  Don’t fall into the trap of thinking if a man or woman, or a boy or girl gives you any of these things that he or she loves you, no matter how long it lasts or how good it is.  Follow the rest of the scripture in 1 Corinthians and see what love really is.  Love is a choice to be patient, kind, and gentle.  It does not brag.  It is not jealous or arrogant.  Love does not choose to hit or act unbecomingly towards one another.  It is a choice to think of your mate and your children before yourself.  Love is a choice to forgive and forget wrongs.  Love is a choice to bear each other’s burdens, a choice to share dreams and hopes and a choice to endure the hard times together.  Love is a choice to honor your mate, just as Christ honored us with His sacrifice. 

Tonight the little counter at the top of my blog says I have been married for 16 years, 9 months, 2 weeks and 5 days.  I sincerely hope, if the Lord is willing, there are at least double or more of those years and days ahead.  Men and women, old and especially young, please hear the Wisdom of Solomon:  If you are not willing to make the same commitment that I and others have – don’t wake love before its time.  It may sound horribly old fashioned and out of style with culture today, and possibly even sound judgmental to those who find conviction in these words.  Yes, I mean don’t have sex with someone out of wedlock.  Don't rush into a relationship with someone you don't know.  There is no way you can know who someone really is in a few days or weeks.  It is certainly not possible to know if they will choose to love you in such a short amount of time. 

In both cases I cited above, these men made a choice to not love their mates or their children.  Their choices destroyed lives, and imperiled legacy.  There are little children tonight without parents.

If you are in an abusive relationship – get help now.  Seek out your parents, your pastor, a friend – anyone who can help you get to safety.  If you have nowhere else to turn, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website at www.thehotline.com.   Your children need you to love them enough to protect them.

I pray this word speaks to someone’s heart and helps to prevent the loss one of my dearest friends suffered today.